Today I am out running a few errands before going to watch the Alabama v. Clemson game.  I’m looking forward to it because I expect it to be a good game.  However, since it’s a Monday, I have things I need to return to the library.

Traffic is heavy, which is usual for the time, and the roads are wet from the recent rains.  People are driving slow and carefully, which is a pleasant surprise.  I make it to the library, return my items and check out a couple more (a frequent happening).

The next stop I want to make is to Lowe’s hardware, to get a LED light, because I need some brighter lighting in my living room.  On the way there, I observe a car across the intersection, signaling to turn right.  The problem is, she’s (yes, the driver was female) not turning despite there’s no traffic coming from her left.  She sat there through the entire red light, not turning, the bus driver behind her was being calm but I bet he was thinking a few expletive deletive comments in his mind.  When my light turned green, I turned left and looked over at the lady, which is how I knew it was a lady, and made my way down the road.  The light was red for me and I looked in my rear view mirror to see that she finally turned right with the green light she received.  “I’m glad I’m not behind that idiot” I thought to myself.

At the light, I saw a lady belatedly start crossing the street while holding a cell phone to her ear.  She wasn’t walking on the crosswalk but up the road a short distance.  Kind of sidewalk adjacent.  Since she got a late start, I was wondering if she was going to make it across in time or hold up traffic.  I’ve heard of distracted driving with cell phones, which is stupid enough, but distracted walking?  I was thinking to myself, “wow, another idiot.”  Then a white car came into the intersection, from my left, turning left.  The driver barely missed the distracted walker as they came through their turn.  The car’s brake lights never lit up.  I figured that idiot was damn lucky law enforcement didn’t see him pulling that boneheaded move (being less than a block from the main police station).

I went on and made it to Lowe’s.  Got my LED bulb and some disposal cleaning gels.  I was heading back to my place and took the route that would lead me to the freeway, the shortest route home.  As I was about to turn right, a van coming the other way was turning left into Lowe’s.  However, they were turning too close for me to continue pulling out.  I’m certain that lady read my lips as I called her a wonderfully indelicate name.

I am used to people driving competitively around here.  I see many examples of people driving in such a way that indicates they want to get there before everyone else.  I can handle that because I know that I will get where I am going before they will.  However, stupid drivers can impact anyone because of their stupidity.  They aren’t thinking about how stupid they are.  They seemingly think about their need to get there no matter the cost.  Unfortunately, you can’t get a ticket for being stupid.  Just for the end results of being stupid.  I don’t mind the stupid drivers as long as they keep their stupidity far away from me.

For now.

Me.

 

Look at that, I’m writing my third blog in as many days.

Yesterday, I wrote about dating rules that should be made cool again.  Part of what I wrote was that you have to establish trust, which I felt was it’s own blog.  I am going to write about building trust, and the adjoining respect that comes with it, because I feel it’s important in any relationship.  Not just romantic relationships.

Let’s start with how easy it is to lose trust.

Trust is very easy to lose with anyone.  It’s easy to violate.  It takes a simple careless act to do the deed.  Infidelity is likely the leading cause of lost trust in romantic relationships.  However, there are other ways of being unfaithful that don’t involve romance.  It can be as simple as not keeping your word you gave to a coworker, or disappearing when you’re needed, or by the act of telling a lie.

When I was young and my dad caught me in a lie, he stated that, “you can lie to us and we’ll keep loving you regardless because you’re our son.  If you lie to others, outside the family, they don’t have to love you.”  I didn’t get the message right then but I did start figuring it out as I grew up.  I’ve had a friend, who said he was a “blood brother” of mine, steal money from me.  That violation of my trust was enough for me to end my friendship with him.  He’s tried to restart the friendship but I won’t allow it.  He hasn’t attoned for what he did, nor has he taken accountability for his choice.

Trust is so easy to lose and very hard to regain.  When you start out with someone, you’re a little wary even if you don’t realize it.  As you get to know that person, you develop an idea of who they are, even if they aren’t showing you everything about them, and you develop a level of trust with that person.  We all do it to some level.  There are people I didn’t trust right from the moment I met them and still don’t trust.  There are others that I didn’t trust at first but developed trust over time.  It’s not a short or easy process and it’s not even an easy process to describe.

Getting and maintaining trust takes getting to know someone on a personal level.  It takes time to develop because you have to be congruent with your words and actions over time.  The more your actions and words match, the deeper the trust becomes.  Sometimes it does happen quicker but that’s usually associated with meeting in a club or speed dating.  When it’s that quick, it either involves sex or someone who isn’t watching for red flags.  Mistakes will happen when you don’t take time to know someone.

In dating, the common rule is 3-5 dates before sex happens.  Sex is a form of trust because you’re putting your heath, your emotions, and what you know of the person you’re with out there when you’re in bed with them.  Your health is at risk if you aren’t making certain they’re free from STDs or pregnancy if contraceptives aren’t used.  Sex does involve emotions, even if it’s a one-night stand.  Intimate sex is used as a form of expressing love.  Casual sex can be viewed as a form of acceptance that self-esteem is based upon.  I’ve known women who based their self-esteem on who wanted to have sex with them.  It didn’t matter that the sex was devoid of intimacy but that it was a feeling of being desired.

That’s why we use 3-5 dates before considering sexual activity with someone.  We want to feel safe with whom we give ourselves to and to feel safe we have to be able to trust that person.  So we look for things that could be red flags for us.  Everyone has different forms of red flags.  A couple of mine are women who are too needy and women who tell stories that make me wonder about them and question who they are.

Following through with what you say you’re going to do is a great way to develop trust.  It shows that you’re responsible and that you respect the person enough to see to what you said you would do.  What it also shows is that you’re dependable.  Dependability is a form of trust.  If you cannot be depended upon, no one is going to feel safe with you and they are NOT going to call upon you when they need help.

So, what do you do to get and maintain trust.  Start off by being true to yourself.  If you are true to yourself and have good ethics, it will show in your everyday actions.  When your everyday actions are consistent, people will begin to trust you and depend upon you because actions and words are consistent.  Honesty is a large part of trust.  You have to be honest with yourself before being honest with others.  When you’re honest with yourself, you accept yourself as you are and put forth that image, which people like.

In my everyday life, I treat people honestly and I act like I want to be treated.  I’m not perfect but I am doing my best to be true to myself.  People respond to me kindly and they trust me because I treat them with the same trust as respect.  It makes my life easier because I am given the benefit of the doubt when things go wrong, people are happy to see me, and I am valued.  When I make mistakes, I take accountability for my actions and choices, which will gain trust from all you’re being accountable to.

Now I am not telling you this so you can manipulate people into trusting you.  Doing that is considered the act of a sociopathic or a narcissist.  Manipulating people will lose all trust for you and it will be impossible to get it back.  Manipulating people should, in my opinion, should be beaten within an inch of their lives so they have a price to pay for being manipulative.

Good relationships are based on communication, trust and respect.  If you don’t have trust and respect, you won’t have the communication.  At least it won’t be the deep meaningful kind of communication that helps relationships get through those rough spots all relationships have.  Before you get involved with someone you want to be with, make certain that you’re being true to yourself, you have good ethics, and your actions are consistent with your words.

Until then…

A friend of mine had posted, on Facebook, a meme about bringing back “old fashioned” dating.  I liked it enough to want to write about it here.  I am going to write the “10 old fashioned dating habits we should make cool again” and what I think about them.  On we go.

1.  Coming to the door to pick someone up.

I was surprised to see this one.  I figured that’s the way it was still done.  At least it’s still the way I do things.  I believe in showing up at the door, if that’s been arranged, when going on a date.  However, most of my most recent dates have been where the lady and I meet somewhere mutually decided upon, like a restaurant or a coffee shop (the ubiquitous Starbucks).  In one sense, I can see where this could be problematic  if you meet someone who isn’t stable.  You really don’t want some bunny boiler knowing where you live.

I guess that if you know the person you’re dating, you can develop the dating habit of picking up your date at the door rather than meeting somewhere.  After all, the third date should be the one after you each have vetted each other.  That’s where things should step up a little.

2.  Trying to dress really nicely for a date.

Dress to impress.  That should still be the rule of dating.  I wouldn’t continue to date a lady who dressed in her grungies for a date.  I always make an effort, for dates, to look my best from top to bottom.  I will wear a nice shirt and slacks, not jeans, to make myself look good.  This also means to be clean and to smell good.  No one wants to be around a stinker for a date.  Also, if you stink, you won’t get another date.

3.  Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date.

All I have to say, about this, is that it’s important to demonstrate your interest in the person by doing this.  Even though I express affection through touch, I understand that flowers are a nice accent and provide a nice reminder to the date after you’ve made that impression, whether good or bad.  It’s an effort worth making.

4.  Going dancing that’s not grinding on a grimy club floor.

Be classy about it.  Go dancing where there’s some form to the dancing like, for example, two-stepping.  It doesn’t have to be formal like ballroom dancing but it should be something both can enjoy and not feel like they degraded themselves to do.

5.  Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out.”

Asking someone to hang out is just saying, you want to be just friends.  It could give the impression that you just want friends with benefits rather than a deeply connected relationship with someone.  It cheapens what you’re trying to do and it gives a poor impression of who you are and what you’re about.

6.  Additionally, being clear about when you’re “going steady.”

It’s like asking someone out.  You want clarity of purpose and where you stand with someone.  I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t clear about their relationship with me.  Being vague doesn’t get you anywhere but confused.  The relationship will not last long if it isn’t recognized as a relationship by both people involved.

7.  Romantic gestures like writing poems.

When I was married, I used to write little love notes and hide them in my wife’s work wear so she would find them when she was at work.  She loved those gestures and treasured them.  I don’t think she still has them, since we’re divorced, but it was an effort worth making.  I still do make those small gestures in relationships because they do add up to greater things.  Sometimes even writing a goofy poem, like I do, can go a long way.

8.  Turning electronics off and just being with one another.

I silence my phone when I am on a date, in a meeting, or at an interview.  It’s respectful of the other person when you do that.  It shows them that you take their time seriously and that you’re completely there for them.  It doesn’t take much effort to turn your phone, or other devices, to silent or off.

9.  The general concept of asking permission for things.

There’s a non-profit, in Seattle, called the Center for Sex Positive Culture.  One of its precepts is that you must ask permission to touch anyone in there.  The reason for this is to protect the people from feeling creeped out if they are touched by someone they don’t want touching them.  It’s also a way of setting boundaries.

Asking permission is a way to show that you respect someone’s boundaries.  You show that you care for their well being and that you understand your limits with them.  Now if they give you permission to cross their boundaries, you’re safe because they have indicated that they trust you.  Earning trust is very important (I sense another blog) with relationships.

10.  Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time

This comes with trust.  If you force the issue with sex, you run the risk of running the relationship and destroying trust.  If you take time to get to know someone and let it happen naturally,  it will happen and it will have greater meaning for both people.  A friend once told me that it’s best not to even think of how you would like to have sex with someone while getting to know them.  It can influence how you interact with them and ruin the possibility of ever having sex with them.

It all comes from trust.  That will be discussed later.

Until then,,,

It’s three miles to the river,
That would carry me away.
And two miles to the dusty street
That I saw you on today.

In 1989, I was training to work in a mini mart when I was introduced to Phil. He had a long face, long hair, was soft spoken and drank lots of coffee. He was nicknamed RePhil because he was known for getting a coffee refill. There began a conversation that lasted ten years. A lot happened in that time.

It’s four miles to my lonely room
Where I will hide my face,
And about half a mile to the downtown bar
That I ran from in disgrace.

Phil and I would talk about anything and everything. The subjects ran the gamut and were interesting. It seemed that we would part ways, going about our lives, and would pick right up from where we left off previously. On the weekends, he would sit at home watching TV and drinking whatever beer he could afford on a night watchman’s salary. His wife, Terry, stood by him through thick and thin. It took a long time for she and I to understand each other. She cared about Phil, deeply.

Lord, how long do I have to keep on running,
Seven hours, seven days, or seven years?
All I know is, since you’ve been gone
I feel like I’m drowning in a river.
Drowning in a river of tears.
Drowning in a river.
Feel like I’m drowning.
Drowning in a river.

Phil watched as I dried up from my alcoholism, being supportive and non-judgemental. He saw me go through a three year depression and, as I was coming back to life, he saw me make one of the biggest mistakes of my life. He tried to warn me that I was making a mistake in getting married to my now ex-wife but I was having too much fun to listen to Phil being a good friend. When I went through my divorce, he laughed that quiet laugh of his and told me, “I told you so but you weren’t listening.”

In three more days I’ll leave this town
And disappear without a trace.
A year from now, maybe settle down
Where no one knows my face.

Phil and I kept talking about the stars, serial killers, crosswords, and anything else that crossed our paths. We sang Monty Python and Frank Zappa songs. We called Eric Clapton (who’s lyrics are in italics here), God (Phil was a recovering Catholic). I would stop by where he worked, after getting off work, and continue our conversation. We once found a record of dope humor and would laugh about it for days. After that, when he would call where I was working, he would leave the message, “tell him his Guru called” My boss, being Hispanic, couldn’t pronounce Guru quite the same, which led to some good laughs. Phil once told me that he could tell when I was coming down the road. He would hear all the cars booming their rap or hip hop, then he would hear either Neil Young or Pink Floyd from three blocks away and know it was me. Sure enough, I would arrive, light up a doobie and the conversation continued.

I wish I could hold you
One more time to ease the pain.
But my time’s run out and I got to go,
Got to run away again.

In 1998, I figured that the best way for me to get myself out of Yakima was to go back to school and get to Eastern Washington University (EWU). So I went back and earned my degree so I could pursue a degree at EWU. That last year in Yakima was a bit sentimental as I knew I was leaving. Phil and I started wrapping up our conversation as we knew we were going to be parting ways. He was about to move into a new home as I was working on doing more with my life.

Still I catch myself thinking,
One day I’ll find my way back here.
You’ll save me from drowning,
Drowning in a river,
Drowning in a river of tears.”
Drowning in a river,
Feel like I’m drowning,”
Drowning in the river,
Lord, how long must this go on?

Not long after I moved to Spokane, Phil got involved in an affair. I was his good friend by going to Yakima to bitch him out for that all weekend long. Things appeared to be good when I left and Terry even thanked me, saying that Phil was more affectionate with her after that. I would call Phil to see how he was doing and to share things that were going on in my life (namely the Wiccan I was dating). Going into Super Bowl weekend, Phil told me that he had been fired from his job because an empty beer can had been found inside one of the buildings under his care. The affair had returned and left the empty there. I joked with Phil that he would have to get a real job. I told him that I would call a family friend, who owned and operated a fruit company, and see if I could get them to interview Phil.

On January 31, 2000, I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing at three O’something in the morning. It was Terry telling me that the affair came over, creating a scene, waking her up. She came out and an argument between her and the affair ensued. Phil grabbed his 45, stepped out the side door and, before Terry could reach him, put the 45 to his head and shot himself. I guess he thought his mariage was beyond repair.

About a week after his death, I was visited by Phil, in a dream. We were on a tree lined street in Minnesota (where he grew up). He told me that he was all right and happy. I told him that I would miss him and we hugged. Then I woke up.

Drowning in a river,
Drowning in a river of tears.

Italicized lyrics from River of Tears by Eric Clapton.

I’ve been a busy boy lately.  I guess that’s a good thing as it means I am not being bored or just sitting around, doing nothing.  I’ve been exercising, to get slimmer and maintain control of my diabetes.  I’ve been working on my job search and occasionally dating.

On the date front.  It’s been a bit of a dry spell for me.  Not getting too many chances with women but I’m not too worried about it.  I know that there will be a time when I am busy dating and enjoying it.  In the meantime, I keep on living life as I can.  There’s a couple of prospects out there but I won’t get too involved just yet.

I saw my endocrinologist, an attractive lady from Turkey.  She loves how proactive I am in taking care of my diabetes and suggested that I give presentations on how to effectively take care of diabetes.  Since I’ve had experience with Toastmasters, a speech and leadership club, I am fully capable of putting together a presentation.  Visions of giving a Ted talk dance about in my imagination.  It would be nice to have something like that.  I am in the process of putting together a presentation on how I control my diabetes in a way that would be inspiring for others.

As for finding a job.  It’s a process and I might have been going about it the wrong way.  I am making use of the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (DVR) to help me in finding a job.  It’s a service for people with disabilities, such as my diabetes and hearing loss, who need help in finding employment.  Now I am much more self directed in my job search activities, which they like, and I am applying for jobs on my own.  However, they are teaching me strategies I haven’t thought of using and showing me ways to improve upon my skills.  They even support my effort to learn ASL and will sign with me to help reinforce what I have learned.

As for ASL.  I am going to head off from here to practice my ASL and have some lunch.  Be back next week.

Until then…

I’ve been knocked down by life many times.  I’ve had lows that felt like a chasm so deep there was no way out.  I’ve even hit the proverbial rock bottom.  It started early and kept on happening.  Still here I stand, moving forward, always getting back up from being knocked down.

I am a believer that, no matter what happens in life, I will always land on my feet.  I believe it because it has happened every time after I’ve been knocked down.  I lost my hearing at the age of three.  Had an operation when I was four and started wearing hearing aids.  I had to have three years of speech therapy which helped me not sound like most hard of hearing people do.  I speak noticeably well for someone with profound hearing loss.

However, during the time I was relearning to talk, I became a target of the other kids and teased mercilessly.  The teasing went on for years and had long lasting effect upon me.  I still learned to speak well and even worked in radio broadcasting, as an air personality, for the better part of ten years.  I overcame the teasing and became who I am today.  I like who I am today.  I overcame the teasing by starting to believe in myself and not listening to those who didn’t believe in me.

When I decided to quit drinking in 1991, I was hitting a low point in life that would last for three years.  All I really did was stay home, after work, and just vegetate in front of the TV watching movies over and over again.  I had been dumped by a girlfriend of nearly 5 years, survived a serious car accident that gave me a broken neck (I didn’t know about it at the time and found out about it in 2008), a concussion with short term memory loss, and had my first and only serious time of depression.

During that time, I took myself out of the depression by getting active again.  I took to climbing cliffs without using rope.  There was the thrill of knowing that a mistake could potentially, almost certainly, kill me.  It was how I started to really feel alive.  I went from that point to getting myself out of the house more often.  It also helped that I accepted myself as an imperfect man.  I didn’t have to hold on to being perfect for anyone.  I learned to like myself before anyone else.

In 2000, I started practicing Buddhism.  I learned that “suffering is life” meant, in my case, that having difficult times is useful for appreciating the good times. I also learned that life is meant to have ups and downs as a normal function of life.  I grew to believing that the difficult periods in my life contributed to my becoming the person I like today.

I’m not perfect, nor am I imperfect.  I live life balanced in the belief that there will be good times and bad times to go through.  In fact, I believe in the maxim, “Keep moving forward.”  I will get knocked down from time to time but I will always get back up and continue moving forward.  There’s really no great secret to this.  You just have to begin with believing in yourself no matter what anyone else says.

Now if you have severe depression and have been reading this.  What I’ve described is something that worked for me that I did on my own.  I would suggest that anyone with severe depression go see a professional and let them help you develop what works for you.  There are many ways you can help yourself and a professional will assist you in finding the best way for you.  Just be sure to keep moving forward since the past will always be in the past and the future will always be the future.  Being in the moment is always a good place to be.

Last year, I worked as a Security officer in a Victoria’s Secret in the Seattle area.  It wasn’t a bad job considering the location and the people I got to meet and the women who worked around me.  There were some intelligent women working there and I enjoyed my conversations with them.  All in all, there are worse jobs to be doing.

One thing that troubled me at that store was the pictures they had on their walls.  They were pictures of women in lingerie.  They were all attractive and erotic looking but what bothered me is that they were objectified images of women.  The images of women were not complete images, featuring their whole bodies.  There were images of women’s breasts, their asses, their crotches, their faces and even images of women simulating sex acts.  None of the images was congruent with, what I heard, Victoria’s Secret message of empowering women.

In all of the store, there were no images of whole women.  The closest was one where the woman was cut off at the ankles.  This means, to me, that all the women who come into that store were being given a subtle message that they should value parts of themselves rather than the whole of themselves.  I think that message is wrong and here’s why.

I remember talking with a lady who said that her most attractive part was her back.  I wondered what she thought about the rest of herself.  That’s is the damage of objectification and marginalization.  Women are taught, from childhood, that viewing themselves as a whole is not what people want.  Men and women are bombarded, daily, with these messages of objectification and it becomes ingrained within society and it harms society as a whole.  Men are not viewed as objects as often women are.  Generally, men are viewed as whole.

If you look at images of men; they are presented as whole men, even if the object of the image is of their abdominal muscles.  By and large, images of men feature men from head to toe.  Even when the image is not of a whole male, he is still viewed as a whole.  I see that as an imbalance between men and women.

Why can’t we value women as whole?  What’s wrong with appreciating a woman because of more than a few parts of her body?  Women are just as complex and interesting as men are.  Women are capable of achieving whatever they set their mind to, just like men are.  Women  are worth being viewed as whole people rather than objectified.

Now, just to be fair.  I have done my share of objectifying women.  There are parts of women I enjoy seeing.  However, I make an effort to treat each and every woman as a whole person because that’s the correct way to treat women, in my view.  It’s not easy to do but nothing worthwhile is ever easy.  It’s amazing when you begin to view women as whole people.

You start treating women with respect and dignity when you view them as whole people.  You deepen your relationships with women when you treat them as whole people.  Society becomes stronger when women are treated as whole people.  Can you imagine how much better things could be if society, as a whole, treated women as whole people?

We, as a society, did this in the form of race relations.  We objectified and marginalized the various races that emigrated into the melting pot of America.  The worst example of this would be how we treat African-Americans, whose ancestors were brought here against their wills.  We, as a society, need to grow and overcome this as well.  The great Martin Luther King exemplified how we can overcome the injustice visited on members of our society by what he preached.  His use of nonviolent means and the teaching of love, in all forms, is a step in the right direction.  I believe it was his desire to teach society how to better treat its members.

Here’s my challenge to you.  Start treating women with respect, dignity and as whole people.  We will all benefit greatly, as a whole, from it.

Until next time…

I have observed a growing uptick in, what I think are idiot drivers, people who appear to be in so much of a hurry that they are taking unnecessary, even dangerous, chances with their vehicles and their lives.  I think it’s becoming a real concern for the safety of all who are driving.

Just this past Friday, I was coming out of Costco gas when I saw a vehicle speed in behind me and end up blocking the road for others because he chose not to be patient enough to wait to fully get into the turn lane.  Then he tailgated me from Costco, despite my tapping my brakes in an effort to back him off, to where we turn right onto Broadway (about 3 miles).  Just before the turn to Broadway, he went around me and got into the turn lane just in front of me and nearly hit the car that was less than a car length ahead of me.  He continued his aggressive driving onto Beverly, which branches off of Broadway, tailgating and dangerously passing others.  He even nearly hit a parked vehicle while passing someone.

This left me wondering what he was in such a hurry for.  Would he think the hurry if worth the great risk of him seriously injuring himself or killing himself or others in a car accident?  Would he even take accountability for his actions if he caused an accident?

When I was training to be a bus driver, it was taught that out of 300 traffic incidents; 29 would be serious and 1 would be fatal.  Now when you consider the sheer number of cars on the roads and how often accidents happen, the odds are great that an accident will happen.  What will keep you from being in an accident is though your choice of how to drive.

Part of my learning to be a bus driver was learning the Smith System.  It’s an expensive drivers safety course aimed at reducing the number of accidents on the nation’s roadways by teaching effective, controllable driving skills.  Its skills are easy to use and great at protecting you from becoming an accident statistic.

There are five steps in the Smith System.  They go by the phrase, “All Good Kids Love Milk.”  This means:

1. Always aim high.  Look ahead 15-30 seconds on the highway and up to two blocks on city streets.
2. Get the big picture.  Know what’s going on all 360 degrees around you and be aware of potential problems.
3. Keep your eyes moving.  You’re more alert when you keep your eyes moving, checking your mirrors every 5-8 seconds, looking around your vehicle for possible danger.
4. Leave yourself an out.  Give yourself two escapes to possible accident situations so you can avoid being part of an accident.
5. Make certain they see you.  This means to make eye contact with other drivers to confirm that you both are aware of each other.

Remember the two second rule?  Try to keep two seconds between you and the vehicle in front of you.  I learned that you can give yourself more time to react to dangerous situations by adding to that two seconds.  The one thing that you can consistently control, on the road, is the distance between you and the vehicle in front of you.  Personally, I try to stay in the space that’s between crowds of cars when I am driving on the freeway.  That way I am avoiding being a part of any accidents that occur inside those crowds.  Just imagine the chain reaction that would happen in a crowd.

I cannot control anyone other than myself.  So I am in charge of how I drive and accountable for my choices while driving.  I think about the benefits of my driving choices.  I am keeping my insurance rates down by not having to file accident claims.  I don’t have to pay traffic tickets.  Lastly, I’m not having to repair my car for doing something stupid.

When I see people driving stupid, I think to myself that I am happy they are doing the things that either get the attention of law enforcement, or they get into the accident that I am avoiding being in.  There have been times when I’ve watched a driver aggressively drive around me and then I laugh as I see them pulled over down the road.

So when you’re out there driving, don’t be the idiot in a hurry to their funeral or more expenses.  Be the safe driver that’s accountable to themselves and save yourself the stress of damaged vehicles, higher expenses, and tickets.  You’ll thank yourself for it and the other safe drivers will, quietly, thank you too.

Until next time…